The hard work of choosing a dating site and creating a profile is behind you. Now what? Take a deep breath, because the exciting part lies ahead! Click or swipe – there is a world of possibility out there! There should be hundreds of profiles of prospective partners to peek at. Look, read, move on… OR: Look, read, write a message. The latter part is much more exciting, but think before you just blabber out the first thing that comes to mind.



The first message should be easy to write if you’ve properly read the other person’s profile. It will give you something to hook your first statement or question on. For example, if he or she runs marathons:

“So, you like running long distances? What are you training for at the moment? I would like to run the Boston Marathon next year. Have you finished it? Maybe you can give me some tips.”

It will count in your favour if you refer to something you’ve learnt from a person’s profile in the first message. And if you ask a question in return, they might just be tempted to answer. You can even mention something about their profile pictures. That’s why these should make a statement of their own.

Once you reach this phase, it’s time to leave any shyness behind. Shyness and online dating don’t go well together. It will bring you nowhere. Instead, grab every opportunity to flirt. That’s why you and the other members have registered on the site. No-one will think it funny.

Winning Tips for First Online Dating Message

  • Read before you write.
  • Include what you’ve read in the message.
  • Be honest and authentic.
  • Be creative.
  • Don’t be shy.

What to Avoid Writing in the First Message

  • Boring, one-word opening lines like “hi”.
  • Lies.
  • Questions that you already know the answer to.
  • Pathetic statements caused by shyness.